Enthusiasm in spite of perceived failure

I love performing. I love it. I love applause, who doesn't? But after reflecting on the last few years and the Ouch! of being ousted by one of my favorite stages (low sales on the nights I performed- see last blog) I decided to get real and honest and ask myself some hard questions. Even though I had been playing out to audiences at open mics and coffee shops for 3 years now, was I really a good performer? I watched back several full length 1 hour shows I had recorded. Okay, they were good, but the guitar playing could be much improved. None were flawless, I made mistakes. The melodies of my songs could be more diverse and interesting.... So 2018 is my year for hard work and improvement. I always felt I wasn't quite up to the level of others I saw singing out. They never used a music stand with chord charts. ( I find it hard to memorize a whole hour of songs) They rarely made mistakes and their songs sounded different from one another which made their shows more interesting. This year I am committed to NOT performing (arghhh!!!) because with a show on the calendar, I tend to just rehearse the songs I am going to play and I don't create as much, or practice new skills or improve old ones. Perfect practice makes perfect. So that means slowly learning new chord changes and spending the hours repetitively with a a metronome. Consistent lessons with my songwriting teacher. Spending the time just listening to new music and all different types of music. Learning the hard tech stuff by editing the website and watching You Tube videos on garage band. So far, up to today March 28th, 2018, I have done well! lots of lessons and practice. New techniques and being okay with playing at home and recording. I have spent hours learning more about GarageBand to put new songs out there on this website. When I do decide to take it back out to the world, I hope my shows will be more professional, more interesting and full of a bundle of new originals that are surprising, skillful and emotional. I am excited! LeesaAnn

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